My daughter and I recently embarked on an afternoon outing together that we used to call having a "Mommy Day", but now that she's a teenager, is more of an "ATM Day."
We circled the block twice, looking for a prime parking space near the store she wanted to visit, and when I found one I promptly turned on my left blinker. I waited for another car to pass, and suddenly, whoosh, a sleek black SUV slid into my space. Deep breath. Don't kill her, I repeated to myself. You don't want to be in the pokey with a book coming out. I rolled down my window and waited for the vixen to open her door so I could simply inform her of her crime against shopping society without calling her any names. ("You, you, blinker blanker outer you!") My daughter cringed in the seat next to me, begging me not to swear or make a scene. But the woman remained in her car, endlessing playing with her phone, and I decided yelling at her wasn't worth the wait. We found another space and settled into our day.
Approximately $80, one pair of jeggings (Why couldn't they call them "leans"?) and one completely innappropriate tiger striped push-up bra later ("But it's on sale, Mommy!") we went to one of our favorite places for lunch and ordered fried things for her, a salad for me. The waiter took our order then came back, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, ma'am, a woman at another table just ordered the last grilled shrimp salad."
My daughter leaned over and whispered,"Mommy, I bet it's the same be-yotch who took your parking spot."
<3 that child. But still $#@! that woman.