I Need Martin Short

from Father of the Bride. I need a wedding planner with a crazy accent to organize all the details of the parties, promotions, advertising and PR i've set in motion surrounding this book. I can't even throw a dinner party, let alone a launch party. SIGH. This, my friends, is why wealthy people write books. Because only they have the money to launch them with the help of Martin Short.

The 250-Page Baby Has Arrived

Yee-ha, the book arrived in the mail today! Yes, the real book, the actual book, not the galley, not the first pages, the real four-color bound thang. I immediately put it in a zip-lock bag and told everyone who wanted to see it to put on gloves!! (Maybe I'll just make everyone wash their hands and sign a confidentiality agreement . . .)

Oh Little Starred Review of Bethlehem!

Yes, it's true: a starred review from Publishers Weekly. (And just when I'd stopped obsessively checking their website.) Among other nice things, they called STANDING STILL an "electrifying debut" and "the perfect read for a stormy night." I have been officially sound-bited!!! And how much do I love the word 'electrifying'? I'm going to shut up now because I sound like Sally Field.

Oh Blurber, Where Art Thou?

Before I went on vaca, I got the underwhelming news that no blurb would be on the back cover of my beautiful book.
(Kids, this is what happens when you don't get an MFA from a school with famous teachers/mentors, don't go to Breadloaf or Iowa or anywhere but soccer and gymnastics with your kids.) I only had a few "friends of friends" relationships with the kind of authors they wanted quotes from, so it was like flying blind. We put an excerpt from the book on the back cover instead, and luckily my agent helped me. It was just too much pressure, all the worry over the jacket. Now, we're waiting for reviews . . . and i'm living on bitten fingernails.

This Warms My Cold Hard Little Heart

The UK copyeditor told my Editor/Dominatrix that she was surprised my book was a first novel.
Now THAT makes me happy. (And it should make my US Editor/Dominatrix happy too--since
she pushed me beyond the brink of sanity!!) I guess with Paris Hilton & "Tony Soprano" as the
only public figures with panic disorder people don't expect intelligent well-spoken people to have it???
Hmm, I must ponder.

Everyone Hates My Photo

At a conference this weekend, an agent commented on my author photo looking a bit too much like Tina Fey. What is wrong with Tina Fey???? Now if they said I looked like Britney Spears in a pink wig, I'd be worried. I guess the problem is "funny"--no one wants me to look funny, i have to look serious. Which is damn near impossible for me.

The Cover is Coming, The Cover Is Coming!

At least I hope it is. My agent and I asked for a minor change/addition to the US cover, to make it just a teeny bit more haunting and evocative. Will they change it? Does an unknown neophyte's opinion matter? I'm guessing no.